I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
