Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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