Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
