So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
