dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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