They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
