I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
