I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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