i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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