I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
