A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
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Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
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