Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
