I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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