If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
