There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
