So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
