WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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