I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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