So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize