I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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