I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
