So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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