the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
