in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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