My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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