I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize