none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
