party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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