chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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