Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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