i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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