Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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