I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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