And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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