hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Can I color on your dick again?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Who died my cat blue again?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
