Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize