doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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