I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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