you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
