he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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