Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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