Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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