hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
