If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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