Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
