And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
