I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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