you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
