And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
