The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
