My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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