Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
