there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
