walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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