I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize