theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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