So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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