I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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