Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
