wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
