Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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