you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
