Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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