I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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