he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
